Rock Beats Paper : Funniest Joke of the Day
September 7th 2007 · Posted by Bobby Griffin · Comments
“I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no f*@$ing way paper can beat rock.
Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class?
I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear that sh!t up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh sh!t I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you a$$hole.”
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Wow, sounds like someone has a little pent up hostility there. He’s got a valid point though, paper is pretty lame (and your fist is already clenched). I just sat here for about 3 minutes and tried to think of an alternate for paper. Something that logically does beat rock, but logically loses to scissors. I have failed in my attempts to find such a thing. Maybe 2 objects should be reworked from the ground up. I’m thinking Rock, Dynamite, Water. Rock splashes water, water diffuses dynamite, and dynamite explodes rock. I got it! Tell your friends (and thank FoundMagazine.com for today’s funny joke!)
…Chosen based on your nominations and votes at BlankestBlank.com!
September 7th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
That’s great. I always choose rock, too… I just never knew why. What’s funny is how my friends all know I always choose rock, but they sometimes freak out, thinking I’m going to switch it on them, and they go with the scissors. I hate how paper beats rock.
September 9th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
[…] Rock Beats Paper - Finally someone feels my pain and frustration for rock paper scissors! If you read this and don’t understand, you’re part of the problem. […]